Praising God for the Good and the NOT so Good!

This week at church our Pastor had us write what WE NEED TO CELEBRATE, WE WOULD CHANGE, WE NEED TO CONCLUDE, and WHAT WE ARE CONTENDING FOR (in other words hoping for in the new year) about 2010. Perhaps this was either good timing or God moving. Either way, Toby and I were already preparing in our hearts the answers we would come up with. Here is that list.

What do you Need to Celebrate: 

• It's no surprise first on our list was Aniela's 1st Bday! We have been given a great gift in that little girl. We know we are blessed. We are so thankful that God has chosen us to be her parents.
• Next to make the list: Our 2nd Year Anniversary! Making it past the first year was tough, but our second year of marriage was much more challenging than the first! We are so blessed to have each other.
• This one is my own personal hurdle overcame, very dear to my soul: At the start of the year Aniela was diagnosed with severe eczema and pretty much everyone we went to (uh hmmm... doctors) told us we would just have to "suffer" through it. My poor baby woke us up one night covered in blood because she had scratched her face so bad. I was not going to take "suffering" for an answer. I was desperate for help. I found a "nutritionist" in Layfayette (about an hour from here) that was certain this was caused by allergies, and not just allergies, but milk (or dairy, better yet, casein... the protein in dairy). I am not joking people, one week off of dairy and Aniela's little body healed all up! A-M-A-Z-ING!!! Still praising God for that miracle. She is so beautiful! 
• All around us we are humbled by our dear friends losing jobs. We are so blessed. United Launch Alliance (Toby's company) has continued to give us such security in that area. Or should I say my VERY intelligent hubby has managed to impress ULA. Job security is vital in today's economy, and we are blessed by it.
• Daddy (my daddy) has had a lot of surgeries lately. First let me praise God that he has been free of cancer for two years this summer! First surgery gave us a scare. So needless to say come his second surgery we were nervous about his heart. Thank God that when we cover loved ones in prayer, He is faithful. Anyhoot, without getting into too much details, I am praising God that he has come out of both surgeries this year on top. Not sure I would know what to do without my daddy! 
• This next one did not make the list this past Sunday, but I have to share this because it is definitely worthy of celebration: For many of you, you know the "hell" I personally have been in with my student loans. Well... Toby and I have been praying over and over again for a miracle. (Side note: I always get a kick outta how God's plans are WAY different than our, yet, somehow they always work out better; somehow.) Anyways, long story short, NO no random person paid off that nice hunk of money by check, but the Lord does have favor when we ask, and Sallie Mae has agreed to lower my monthly payments to them by a significant amount. I feel like the Lord wants us to be faithful with this for now and I have a funny feeling He will bless us even more. 
• And last but not least, we had the best Christmas ever this year. I have never believed Christmas was about receiving. But this year... somehow... I received a whole lot, and I assure you it was not presents. Not only did my family bless me, but the Lord has really given me a great gift (a peace of mind) that I am taking into the new year; whats really important in life? Something maybe you can take as well. 

What Do You Need to Change:

• If there is one thing Toby and I have struggled most with this year, it would be our communication with each other. We have both fallen short of many things (in regards to communicating with each other) this year. Perhaps, what we "need to change" is the surface of our marriage. We both want to dig deeper and understand each other better; much better.
• Ah Ha, here's the infamous one... "take care of our bodies"... yes people that's what we wrote! Anyone wanna join the YMCA with me? LoL.
• Financial Discipline... yes... we need more of that. Especially if I want to be in a house this summer (which I do desperately).
• And.... as always, and all year, MORE DEVOTION TO GOD! I can never get enough of Him, and we are both certain, with more God our marriage can flourish better, and so can the rest of our lives.

What do you Need to Conclude: 

• This one is a bit harder, and perhaps a bit more personal, but here goes: My endless need to please everyone. Some of you know this "fault" I have and others have no clue, but even those that do, have no clue what toll this has taken on my soul. I am pleading with God to help me release the constant "psychoanalyzing" I do and make peace with everything He has created me to be. This is the verse He has given me to meditate on in the new year.
  

  Jer 29:11

  For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

What are you Contending for:

• As best said with my hubby by my side: "A blessed year, one filled with financial freedom, a happier, deeper marriage & a healthy family both spiritually and physically!"

Perhaps God gives us little windows to peek through sometimes to better sense whether the door were about to open is good or bad. I believe the window that God is letting me peek through is one filled of Promises! I am so excited about what He is doing in my heart. I can't wait to share it with you all in 2011!

Happy New Year!

Love the Titone Family

(I promise I will get pictures up here after things settle down a bit)

Wassailing

Wassail is an old English tradition that was performed with the intention of ensuring a good crop of apples for the next year's harvest. The English would trade and share their "apple cider" creations with neighbors and friends in hopes of bringing good cheer. (thank you wikipedia)

Frisco, CO has a tradition of carrying on this old English custom. Today we took part in this fun, exciting, and cheerful event. All the shops on Main Street were serving their own version of YUMMY Wassail, and we even got two souvenir cups to use in the process! Perhaps, The Titones will add a little Wassail to our own traditions starting this year.

Merry Christmas!

Happy Wassailing!

If you're on our X-mas Card list you'll be seeing this!

This reindeer was too neat!

It was so Christmasy up there! It put us in the spirit!

This weeks special events...

Meeting Aunt Nora

        

       This past week we were blessed by my sister in laws presence. She is a new author to the biography world and an amazing one at that! If you haven't already been "wow'ed" by her please see this (and yes, I am happy to say that is her voice...)

http://www.tatteredcover.com/event/nora-titone-my-thoughts-be-bloody-bitter-rivalry-between-edwin-and-john-wilkes-booth-led-ameri

        Aniela was a big hit, and so was Aunt Nora! We can't wait for this summer when we can get the cousins together. They would be soooooo good together! 

Even Grace stayed still long enough.

2010 Festival of Lights Parade 

(A Tradition of Mine since I was sixteen)

 

       So we braved the cold... and the wind... WE ALMOST made it all the way through. The babe was just a tad bit too cold. Although, you wouldn't know it by my marvelous bundling job (okay minus the head gear because she refused to wear it). She didn't get to see Santa, but she really doesn't seem to care too much for him anyways (that's obvious from the previous post). LOL. 

       Auni sure loves her Aunt Steffy and preferred to sit with her over me. Once she figured out the whole cheering thing, it was amazing what we got outta that little girl. She's such a big girl. She truly loved the parade just as much as mommy! 

 

A Titone Tradition

Merry Christmas!!!

 We have started a tradition of hunting for our own 
REAL Tree each Christmas.

We wish you a Merry Christmas...

 Auni would not sit with Santa, 

I repeat DID NOT want to sit with Santa!

But... she didn't mind Mrs. Claus 

A Family Sleigh Ride: By Horse

Auni and I rode the "mini horse"!!! 

She really loved it! 

Auni and Daddy picked out a tree. 

It's purty too!

Auni helped mommy decorate the tree.

She loved the "fuzz balls"! 

She really loved decorating. 

It was so sweet!  

 Look at my necklace mommy! 

 And "It is finished!" 

  

Merry Christmas 

NO children were harmed in the making of this!

It looks as though Aniela has her mommy and daddy's superb taste for flavor. This was too funny not to share with all of you! Gosh I love this little girl!

Disclaimer: I promise her little tongue was WAS NOT burned during the making of this video. In fact, the salsa you see is EXTREMELY mild and has no bite at all!

Auni & The Harvest Farm

The "Son's" Flowers... Happy Harvest! 

 She did NOT want to be put down... 

she's still too young for the fun...

"Oink, Oink!" 

They had all the animals of the farm.

She really loved the petting farm. 

"BAAA"

"MOOOOOO"

A cow? In the petting zoooooo??

WHATEVER. She loved it!

What a BIG GIRL!!!

I just can't believe how good she is getting at this stuff! 

Now... she is signing almost all the signs I have taught her: eat, milk, snack, please, all done, thank you, more, etc.

She is also saying: MAMA (why would she say mommy - I am only with her for 15 hours a day!) Gaacey, DaaaDa, Pupa, Nooos (Nose), IIII (eye), issss (fish) etc.

She copies any sound an animal makes, ie, the cat says "meow" and she'll do it! And she chatters and SINGS (especially after mommy has just sung).

Today I caught her reading a book to herself. She LOVES to read! Oh' yeah, and she almost has all her teethies in. She has about maybe four or more to go.... wow. Sorry. Can't catch a pic with the teeth.

What happened to my little girl! Can't believe I have a toddler.

Thank you God, for your small blessings, I love watching my daughter grow so beautifully!

Did my daughter REALLY just take her "first steps"?

God always has a PERFECT plan. GOD'S PLAN: To make sure Toby and I could both watch Aniela (our Angel) take her first four steps together! WOW. What a miracle.

Of course by the time I got the camera out, she had lost interest. I think that is because her first steps were NOT conscious. I really think she had no clue what she was doing until mommy got the camera! LOL.

Enjoy Grandparents! Enjoy! (this is after our small miracle)

I am so proud of you Mikey!

I am about to celebrate with my best friend his marriage to his soul mate. For those of you that know me well know that Mike has been more than a best friend to me all these years. He has become a brother to me. 

I am just recalling all of our memories. You know in movies how when they "do" flashbacks, the memories just flow so fast you can't even keep up? That's my Mike in my head. A friendship like Mike and I's is EXTREMELY rare to come by. And I have been so blessed to make him a part of my life.

I asked Mike if I could give the "best man" speech. He laughed a little (so did I)... we were both thinking --- if I had a pair of "balls" I would be giving the best "man" speech. OOPPS, never mind - I don't want to offend anyone. :) 

Needless to say, Mike did tell me I could give "a" speech. And so I've been thinking about this like crazy. What do you say about someone you would do anything for (and vise versa)? What do you say about someone that knows more about you than sometimes you care to remember yourself? What do you say about someone who has shared all the sorrows, all the joy and all the in betweens? How can you get everything your heart wants to say into about a minute of telling everyone what a great person he is? Wow. This is going to be hard.

I am sitting here a little teared up just thinking about it. I remember how sometimes Mike was the only one "really" ever there for me. You know, sometimes people find it so hard to believe that a married girl could still claim her best friend as a male. But I assure you I have been blessed with a hubby who totally "gets it." And thank GOD because I don't know what I would do without my Mikey. Like I said, he's my brother, he's my blood. 

In honor of a man who knows how to treat a female (and btw Jenny  I taught him all that!).  Oh wait, I am not supposed to give such secrets away. LOL. Well anyways, although Mikey might not always understand the "wacko" emotions a woman can bring to a relationship, he respects it. And that's honestly all he needs to bring to his marriage. Also, I know for a fact Mike CANNOT live without Jenny. And therefore, I know he's committed to always making her happy. I am so proud of who he has become. He used to be a lazy, no good, piece of.... ooops, I meant, he always tried really hard to make the best of any circumstance he was given. Jenny you got a GOOD ONE. A best friend for life - that's the most important thing in a marriage.

And Mikey - this ones for you: Remember when.....

• you were in the closet for like 4 hours (LMAO)
• I brought Gracey Girl home
• we practiced for hours trying to perfect Copperhead Road
• our trip to El Paso (all 24 hours worth.... ughhhh....)
• I brought you to theMILL and introduced you to Jesus
• You hooked up with some total flops
• I hooked up with some total flops
• that night we got so drunk we couldn't even remember the next day (oh wait, you remembered, I didn't)
• what about that night i made you drive me around for hours because i didn't want to go home
• and all the tears you let me cry for the many sorrows I suffered (do you realize you were there for all of them, but one)
• There is just toooo many to recall on here, but there's a start!

Mike, I am so honored to be in your wedding. And we both know that if I had a beard I would be standing next to you when you marry the sweetest girl I know, Jenny. I love you more than you will ever know. You have blessed my life with more love than I know I deserve. 

My Soul Mate; My hubby, but More MY BEST FRIEND

So today marks exactly two years since Toby and I boarded a plane to St.Petersburg, Fl. Wow. That went fast. I am in awe of how my life has changed for the better since he has been in my life. Sunday will be our two year anniversary and though that seems so short... I assure you it is not. The life-long connection that Toby and I began with each other just over three years ago has never slacked. In fact just the opposite has happened for us. Wow.

I remember years ago... not too many years... I thought my world was over. I thought I could never find true love (especially from a man); the kind you read about in fairy tales. And I have had my share of sorrows and doubts, I have been shit, oops, pooped on, and lied to and basically left to dry by many of "boys" in my days.... but WoW. There's that word again. I never thought I was good enough to get someone like Toby.

And to all you girls out there that think you have to settle, I assure you don't. God has someone so perfect for you. Do your time. And God will bless you. LOL. That sounds silly I know, but its true. Serve God, and its amazing what he'll bless you with.

Sometimes I wish I could sit here and describe my thoughts to you about my husband. The thoughts like how much our "arguments" make us stronger for each other, or how his patience has played such an important part in who God wants me to ultimately be, period. Or how much he lets me get away with, and still is the only person to remind me just how great life can be when you have someone to share it with. There are a lot of those thoughts. But basically when its all said and done... in the end my life has been reserved to serve my husband. And no money or possessions can buy that piece of mind.

I am so happy doing life with you Toby. So happy. I know God has great plans for us, but I love the not-knowing feeling I have right now, because it causes me to appreciate the finer things in life. The things that don't always matter to other people. And that... well that is worth any sacrifice that was, is, or will ever be made for two people to love with an unselfish love (one that is only of God).

Prepared? Who Me? No. Never.

Before I bore you with details of my crazy life the last week, I am excited going to tell you about my adventure yesterday. So. Aniela and I are out shopping all day because I have been extremely overwhelmed with my circumstance the last week, so I needed to get out and spend money and grocery shop. I am always prepared when I shop, especially at Wal-Mart. I get out my very convenient shopping cart cover for Auni, I wipe the bars (she likes to eat them, geez she likes to eat everything), grab the sanitizer and the shopping list, oh' yeah and not to forget the wallet etc. Then we head in. I tend to dilly dally because I love to shop! BTW The following information is rated "R." But yesterday, I had a bathroom emergency. YUCK! I hate using Wally's bathrooms (they are NEVER clean). But, what was I to do? So I grab Auni, my purse, and leave the cart in the doorway and run to the toilet. Oh' Sheeza! What am I gunna do with my Auni, I can't leave her on the floor. Grrr. Well. I put her in my lap. And there she sat until I had to the do the infamous wipe clean. So I stand her up, barely holding on to her, OMG, this is getting too detailed. Anyways, it was VERY complicated.

And you thought that was the end of my brutal honesty? LOL. NOT!

So I hear the rain pouring on the roof, and I look at Auni and say, Uh Oh! We better get an umbrella. Well its time to leave and I go out the front door and to my amazement, its not just pouring, its more than pouring! OH SHEEZA! Now what do I do? Wait? or Go? Because these clouds look awfully horrendous. And they don't seem to be hurrying. GO!

Poor me. Auni was well protected, but me, well I should have just gotten naked and taken a shower, I WAS DRENCHED! So needless to say Aniela experienced her first downpour and mommy experienced one of her first real sacrifices of comfort.

Prepared? Me? Well of course I was prepared, but not for all that!

HOW RUDE!!!

Ah. Michelle Tanner. What ever happened to Full House anyways. I loved that show!

So... last week I was doing a little shopping - as we are moving within the next two weeks and I really need to replace a lot of our stuff. Disclosure: Side NOTE: And why is it that Wal-Mart always HAS to be the cheapest place to shop, yet the most welcoming miserable place to shop? Well this time was no different than any other experience I have at Wally's World. Grrrr.

At this particular Wal-Mart, there is a walk way that goes up the whole middle of the parking lot. And it being the first time I have ever shopped there, I was trying to figure out which side has the non-grocery items. Well. I stopped in front of the door to see which side I was on to let patrons cross (Isn't that what you're supposed to do?). Well according to "Ms. Viola Swamp" from the Wal-Mart parking lot, NO! You are supposed to keep driving through. WHAT???

I look to my right/passenger side, and I see A VERY ANGRY OLD WOMAN SCREAMING AT ME! Oh CRAP, I think to myself, of course I thought the worst. Did I almost hit her? I am thinking now! So I roll down my window, she walks over to the driver's side and SCREAMS at me, "THIS IS NOT A PARKING LOT." And she walks into the store. WHAT? I am totally confused. So I sarcastically politely say, "Mam, I am sorry if you're having a bad day, I hope the rest of your day is horrible blessed!" 

Who'da thunk somebody would get pissed for stopping at the crosswalk for someone to walk through. WOW. Again, I am completely confused.

Regret and Demise

I never thought I would ask myself this question, "Do you have any regrets?" and actually answer, "Yes." I would tell you everything I have done, every mistake I have made, every decision, and every person I have lost or gained along the road, has been/and somehow changed my life and ultimately made me a better person. However, there is one mistake that is unforgivable, one mistake I can't seem to shove under the rug. And often, just as last night, I live in deep contempt for my selfish choice. 

When I look at my life, I always usually see the good stuff. I see how far I've come and how much further I know God wants to take me. But occasionally, I find myself envious of other peers who seem to have it better. And then just now I hear God tell me, "Stop putting me in a box!" Let me explain: I have spent 8 years of my life going to school to get an education because I was taught that is what you are supposed to do. I spent the first 6 years of that education curious about what God's ultimate plans were for my life. And knowing this world, and knowing that sometimes we get curve balls were not prepared for, I knew getting an education was "the ONLY thing to do." So I did it. But my misfortune, and possibly lack of financial expertise, regrettably caused me to apply for loans. And the part I regret most, is that it felt so good to just "pull" out money that seemed almost FREE, so I did. Little did I know it would be the one thing keeping me from fulfilling Gods plans for my life. So, I continued to live off private loans for seven years. 

But again, ultimately, this is one of those mistakes that you just can never foresee the burden until you are right in it. I find myself asking questions like, "Damnit Autumn-Rose, why were you so selfish? You could've just got a T.A. job with your 4.1 gpa (from HS) and never would've had to go to college?" Then I start thinking about how come in our financial system in America, where we're supposed to be FREE, do we feel so burdened. "Why did they make it so easy for me to get money?" And, "Why didn't you just stop while you were ahead?" How come I can look around and count AT LEAST five moms who are without college degrees (and potentially without this massive debt), stay at home moms, and who just recently bought a house and are extremely happy! Yet, my family can't get beyond this to buy a house and for me to feel comfortable enough to stay-at-home. URRRGHHH! I just want to scream and beat myself up! WHY!!!???

I just can't find comfort until I know that my mistake will not negatively affect the lives of my family. and DAMNIT NO ONE CAN PROMISE ME THAT!

Any moms out there, please help! Please share your burdens with me. Am I naive to believe your lives are so perfect?

NOT REGRETTABLY HIS^

Autumn-Rose

What a happy, healthy girl...

I think instead of catching you all  up on the past couple of months, I'll just start from here and begin with you this next phase of our lives. Maybe now and then I will write of my struggles, lessons, triumphs and sorrows of the last couple of months. (Who really wants to hear it all anyways?)

But for today, please watch as my little girl eats lotion gets in trouble for getting into the lotion!

For Grandparents and those far away...

Auni's First taste of Cornbread, Yum! 

Auni's getting ready for swimming! She loves to swim.

My little Auni is not so little anymore! Uh!

I am back!

Not only am I back, but I am a whole new better person. Life's thrown me some curve balls these last couple of months and kept me pre-occupied counting my blessings. I am gradually learning about all this mommy stuff! This blog will no longer be "ours" as before it was. I have decided, I was the only one ever writing anyway, to make this a JUST ME blog. I do, however, intend to talk about nothing but myself my family, biz, new home and any other adventure God just might is guaranteed to toss my way. I am also hoping more of you will be more communicative with me through this blog (if not through anywhere else). 

Short and Sweet. God Bless.