Comes the Dawn

It wasn't long ago I sat here wondering what I had done, where I went wrong, what I had said that caused my best friend, my soul mate, to shave me out of her life. It's been over two years now since we "split" and I am still not over the hurt. Somehow I lean on God and plead with him, "If only God I praise you a little harder, will you just please bring my Amanda back." But somehow two years (more) has slipped on by and I am sitting here contemplating just how much both our lives have changed and how mending such a broken friendship would be near impossible. And though I know the cliche all too well, "Nothing is impossible with God," I am also reminded that sometimes things aren't always OF God either. Perhaps God has a bigger plan for both our lives. Perhaps twenty years later we will be willing to sacrifice a little. But for now, I am slowly gaining peace knowing this is completely out of my hands and thus control.

My client shared this poem with me this morning. Her mom had shared it with her after a loss of a best friend (not physical death, but spiritual death). I share it with you today. In hopes that just maybe you too will find peace with "that" person, that soul mate, that you feel like God took from you.

After a while you learn the subtle difference

Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning

And company doesn’t mean security,

And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts

And presents aren’t promises,

And you begin to accept your defeats

With your head up and your eyes open

With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,

And you learn to build all your roads on today,

Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,

And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn

That even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,

Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure...

That you really are strong,

And you really do have worth.

And you learn and learn...

With every goodbye you learn.

Author: Unknown