The "F" word. Fart.

My dearest friend Rachel lost her mother before she was two. For years she has told me the stories of how the journal her mother kept carries her through tough stuff. This encouraged me years ago to start a journal for all of my children. The first, Aniela Ysabel (my precious angel). Often I write about how she inspires me and other times I just write; which usually turns into information about her childhood. But Sunday I was writing, and I couldn't help but share the things I shared with Auni, with you. If you don't giggle, I will be surprised. Enjoy.

Dear Boogie, 
     I had to write a short blip tonight before I forget. This can not go without sharing. Amidst my admiration for the astonishing growth you continue to make each day, I find myself stunned, awe-filled, or admired (not quite sure which one) of how often the small things you do remind me of how little you once were and what you are already becoming. 
   
   I remember you used to army crawl long before you walked. You never did get up on all fours. You just used to use your arms to get everywhere. Tonight, and a lot recently, I've watched as you army crawl through the living room. You do it for a laugh, I am sure. And you get one. But for that small second in time, I am reminded of how precious you were to me in those days (as if they were so long ago), and still are. You know how to make me laugh, and somehow your humor amazes me that intellectually you know exactly what you are doing! Sometimes, I honestly feel like that is a small way you show you love me. 
   
    I mustn't forget your latest joke, ahh yes, the "let me whine and sound like I am crying, and see if mommy pays attention" act. Oh yes, in all truth at first I admired your act, but now you push your limits, and sometimes I can't help but laugh at you or ignore your efforts (which doesn't take long). LOL.
   
    But perhaps the latest of your efforts might quite possibly be my secret favorite... not just because I belly laugh when you do it, but because you amaze me that intellectually you totally know what you are doing. You never amaze me anymore how after just one simple encounter with a behavior or word you can pick it up instantly. A while back you would "toot" while I changed your diaper and then you would laugh, belly laugh. :0)  Actually, I would laugh... not you. Belly laugh. :0)  And, oops, I would say that dreaded "F" word. Fart. I should have known better than to teach you that word; or say it. It just sounds too funny coming from your tiny lexical speech pattern. However, the inevitable has happened and you now purposefully "squeeze" and I mean SQUEEZE a "toot" out every time I change your diaper at night. I assume you learned fast that if you do that mommy will really laugh. And I do. Oh' do I laugh. Ps. I have now taught you to say "toot" instead of that "f" word. 
   
       I love you my precious angel.  

Beginning

So this is beginning of the journey through the B(basic) I(instructions) B(before) L(leaving) E(Earth) in ONE YEAR!

In the beginning there was God. We all know that. I know that. I accepted my salvation just shy of nine years ago. Upon that I wondered, "okay NOW WHAT?". LoL. And... that was when I was introduced to the chapter of John. Not a bad chapter to start my journey in, especially seeing how I was so on fire to learn more about who Jesus was. However, somewhere along the way, I lost a little zeal and... well lets just say the last nine years have been hit and miss when it comes to opening up the word of God. The ironic and yet somewhat surreal thing for me is that in this time I have had amazing recollection of scripture (the words, not the "actual" verse numbers).

So that is where it is all about to change. Call me optimistic (which is rare, I am usually prone to pessimism), but I have a funny feeling great things are upon us in 2011. Already we've seen God move in ways we couldn't ever imagine (i.e., Toby's new job assignment, my agreement with Sallie Mae, Aniela's health, etc.)

That being said, I see it only fit to start a journey (any journey, for that matter) AT THE BEGINNING! I am so excited about this. In conjunction with this commitment, I have also committed to Beth Moore's ministry Living Way Ministries; I will memorize, yes that's right, MEMORIZE 24 scriptures before 2012; thus making my sword sharper----

Eph 6:17

Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Ps. Anyone who wants to join me, may!  Here is the link to the rules. If you want to begin with me today, here is the link to today's "verse drop".

(PS I will promote this ministry forever, because this woman is called. Her calling in life is blessed, and through it I have been blessed. I love being a part of such a community of women as this). WOW.

I am so pumped already, I started with a journal I got for Christmas (that is purple, duh, with "blessed" written all over it), my NLT (purple) Bible and of course a purple pen. Oh' yeah I pulled out my purple "message" Bible as well, just in case I want to read vs.'s differently. ROFL. But best of all, I decided I was gunna get all "educational" on myself, and started a time-line (or family tree) in the front of my journal. This is so good for me. Really it is! :)

So this is the first vs. that God gave me that really I wanted to spend sometime meditating on:

Genesis 1:27 (NLT) - God created people (man) in his own image; God patterned them after himself; male & female, he created them.

       The reason why this is a "striking" verse for me is because in this previous post, I mentioned a personal resolution to something that has plagued my life for 28 years. In a short version: I want to see myself how God sees me. I want to "give up" psychoanalyzing everything I do, and thus feeling like "crud" for everything I do. This is something that God has gradually been laying on my heart to do. I am glad He has finally delivered such desire and motivation to succeed. That being said, here are my thoughts on why this verse will be pivotal in my growth this year:

                  
        I find great comfort in knowing my place set "originally" by God was in HIS IMAGE. Void of faults, void of judgment, void of hate, and most of all void of doubt (or fear). You may see this as a huge expectation to live up to (perfect, right?), but I see it as the only answer for a cure to this insatiable disease I have let my body (spirit and mind, included) slowly consume.

I am calling for FREEDOM, and it starts at the beginning! Because, everything, everything, even God, starts at the beginning.

Christmastime 2010

Hoping the Grandparents, at least, check this one out. This is what you've been waiting for!

Photo album created with Smilebox

Love the Titones! 

Praising God for the Good and the NOT so Good!

This week at church our Pastor had us write what WE NEED TO CELEBRATE, WE WOULD CHANGE, WE NEED TO CONCLUDE, and WHAT WE ARE CONTENDING FOR (in other words hoping for in the new year) about 2010. Perhaps this was either good timing or God moving. Either way, Toby and I were already preparing in our hearts the answers we would come up with. Here is that list.

What do you Need to Celebrate: 

• It's no surprise first on our list was Aniela's 1st Bday! We have been given a great gift in that little girl. We know we are blessed. We are so thankful that God has chosen us to be her parents.
• Next to make the list: Our 2nd Year Anniversary! Making it past the first year was tough, but our second year of marriage was much more challenging than the first! We are so blessed to have each other.
• This one is my own personal hurdle overcame, very dear to my soul: At the start of the year Aniela was diagnosed with severe eczema and pretty much everyone we went to (uh hmmm... doctors) told us we would just have to "suffer" through it. My poor baby woke us up one night covered in blood because she had scratched her face so bad. I was not going to take "suffering" for an answer. I was desperate for help. I found a "nutritionist" in Layfayette (about an hour from here) that was certain this was caused by allergies, and not just allergies, but milk (or dairy, better yet, casein... the protein in dairy). I am not joking people, one week off of dairy and Aniela's little body healed all up! A-M-A-Z-ING!!! Still praising God for that miracle. She is so beautiful! 
• All around us we are humbled by our dear friends losing jobs. We are so blessed. United Launch Alliance (Toby's company) has continued to give us such security in that area. Or should I say my VERY intelligent hubby has managed to impress ULA. Job security is vital in today's economy, and we are blessed by it.
• Daddy (my daddy) has had a lot of surgeries lately. First let me praise God that he has been free of cancer for two years this summer! First surgery gave us a scare. So needless to say come his second surgery we were nervous about his heart. Thank God that when we cover loved ones in prayer, He is faithful. Anyhoot, without getting into too much details, I am praising God that he has come out of both surgeries this year on top. Not sure I would know what to do without my daddy! 
• This next one did not make the list this past Sunday, but I have to share this because it is definitely worthy of celebration: For many of you, you know the "hell" I personally have been in with my student loans. Well... Toby and I have been praying over and over again for a miracle. (Side note: I always get a kick outta how God's plans are WAY different than our, yet, somehow they always work out better; somehow.) Anyways, long story short, NO no random person paid off that nice hunk of money by check, but the Lord does have favor when we ask, and Sallie Mae has agreed to lower my monthly payments to them by a significant amount. I feel like the Lord wants us to be faithful with this for now and I have a funny feeling He will bless us even more. 
• And last but not least, we had the best Christmas ever this year. I have never believed Christmas was about receiving. But this year... somehow... I received a whole lot, and I assure you it was not presents. Not only did my family bless me, but the Lord has really given me a great gift (a peace of mind) that I am taking into the new year; whats really important in life? Something maybe you can take as well. 

What Do You Need to Change:

• If there is one thing Toby and I have struggled most with this year, it would be our communication with each other. We have both fallen short of many things (in regards to communicating with each other) this year. Perhaps, what we "need to change" is the surface of our marriage. We both want to dig deeper and understand each other better; much better.
• Ah Ha, here's the infamous one... "take care of our bodies"... yes people that's what we wrote! Anyone wanna join the YMCA with me? LoL.
• Financial Discipline... yes... we need more of that. Especially if I want to be in a house this summer (which I do desperately).
• And.... as always, and all year, MORE DEVOTION TO GOD! I can never get enough of Him, and we are both certain, with more God our marriage can flourish better, and so can the rest of our lives.

What do you Need to Conclude: 

• This one is a bit harder, and perhaps a bit more personal, but here goes: My endless need to please everyone. Some of you know this "fault" I have and others have no clue, but even those that do, have no clue what toll this has taken on my soul. I am pleading with God to help me release the constant "psychoanalyzing" I do and make peace with everything He has created me to be. This is the verse He has given me to meditate on in the new year.
  

  Jer 29:11

  For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

What are you Contending for:

• As best said with my hubby by my side: "A blessed year, one filled with financial freedom, a happier, deeper marriage & a healthy family both spiritually and physically!"

Perhaps God gives us little windows to peek through sometimes to better sense whether the door were about to open is good or bad. I believe the window that God is letting me peek through is one filled of Promises! I am so excited about what He is doing in my heart. I can't wait to share it with you all in 2011!

Happy New Year!

Love the Titone Family

(I promise I will get pictures up here after things settle down a bit)