Regret and Demise

I never thought I would ask myself this question, "Do you have any regrets?" and actually answer, "Yes." I would tell you everything I have done, every mistake I have made, every decision, and every person I have lost or gained along the road, has been/and somehow changed my life and ultimately made me a better person. However, there is one mistake that is unforgivable, one mistake I can't seem to shove under the rug. And often, just as last night, I live in deep contempt for my selfish choice. 

When I look at my life, I always usually see the good stuff. I see how far I've come and how much further I know God wants to take me. But occasionally, I find myself envious of other peers who seem to have it better. And then just now I hear God tell me, "Stop putting me in a box!" Let me explain: I have spent 8 years of my life going to school to get an education because I was taught that is what you are supposed to do. I spent the first 6 years of that education curious about what God's ultimate plans were for my life. And knowing this world, and knowing that sometimes we get curve balls were not prepared for, I knew getting an education was "the ONLY thing to do." So I did it. But my misfortune, and possibly lack of financial expertise, regrettably caused me to apply for loans. And the part I regret most, is that it felt so good to just "pull" out money that seemed almost FREE, so I did. Little did I know it would be the one thing keeping me from fulfilling Gods plans for my life. So, I continued to live off private loans for seven years. 

But again, ultimately, this is one of those mistakes that you just can never foresee the burden until you are right in it. I find myself asking questions like, "Damnit Autumn-Rose, why were you so selfish? You could've just got a T.A. job with your 4.1 gpa (from HS) and never would've had to go to college?" Then I start thinking about how come in our financial system in America, where we're supposed to be FREE, do we feel so burdened. "Why did they make it so easy for me to get money?" And, "Why didn't you just stop while you were ahead?" How come I can look around and count AT LEAST five moms who are without college degrees (and potentially without this massive debt), stay at home moms, and who just recently bought a house and are extremely happy! Yet, my family can't get beyond this to buy a house and for me to feel comfortable enough to stay-at-home. URRRGHHH! I just want to scream and beat myself up! WHY!!!???

I just can't find comfort until I know that my mistake will not negatively affect the lives of my family. and DAMNIT NO ONE CAN PROMISE ME THAT!

Any moms out there, please help! Please share your burdens with me. Am I naive to believe your lives are so perfect?

NOT REGRETTABLY HIS^

Autumn-Rose

What a happy, healthy girl...

I think instead of catching you all  up on the past couple of months, I'll just start from here and begin with you this next phase of our lives. Maybe now and then I will write of my struggles, lessons, triumphs and sorrows of the last couple of months. (Who really wants to hear it all anyways?)

But for today, please watch as my little girl eats lotion gets in trouble for getting into the lotion!

For Grandparents and those far away...

Auni's First taste of Cornbread, Yum! 

Auni's getting ready for swimming! She loves to swim.

My little Auni is not so little anymore! Uh!

I am back!

Not only am I back, but I am a whole new better person. Life's thrown me some curve balls these last couple of months and kept me pre-occupied counting my blessings. I am gradually learning about all this mommy stuff! This blog will no longer be "ours" as before it was. I have decided, I was the only one ever writing anyway, to make this a JUST ME blog. I do, however, intend to talk about nothing but myself my family, biz, new home and any other adventure God just might is guaranteed to toss my way. I am also hoping more of you will be more communicative with me through this blog (if not through anywhere else). 

Short and Sweet. God Bless.

Shots or NO Shots? - That is the Question!!!

My Journey to answer this question began long before giving birth to the most precious little creature I have ever met! In fact, I was intrigued with the controversy years ago after falling in love with one of the little girls I used to care for that had a special need. I continue my search for an answer to my question. In the meantime, I am writing my Master's Thesis, My Practicum, on Autism and how to teach it. Now before I begin this blog, you must understand two things, I am expressing my opinion to its fullest based on all of the information I have gained from professionals, books, and articles. Additionally, I am not claiming that there is only a connection to vaccines and Autism, rather vaccines lead to much more than just this mysterious disability.

Recently, I ran into this interesting video about what is included in the FLU vaccine, we've all heard it, but have you ever really thought about it? It's extremely gross! I am going to share this video with you simply because I believe that many of us are tainted by the fears that the media/govt tries to force upon us. You need to see this, especially if you are a mother and considering getting one! WHATS IN A FLU SHOT

It's no surprise we all run around like a chicken with our heads cut off to go get the vaccine, especially the new H1N1. But come on people, do you realize just how much Pharma is getting from us? It's political, face it. 130 children die of the flu each year in America, that is much less than cancer (which has also successfully been linked to childhood vaccines). Did you know that just fifteen years ago there was only seven vaccines recommended (my numbers may be a bit off, forgive me for my estimating)? Now our children, our precious babies, are supposed to be able to handle over fifty?! WHAT!!! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.

We're really required to play Russian roulette. When is the last time Polio was in your area, let alone in America? And diphtheria and the MMR diseases, come one, we haven't seen an outbreak in years, and did you know that if those diseases became an issue, you could go get vaccinated. What we're doing to these little bodies is overwhelming them so much that we gave them things like brain damage, and other childhood problems. Now, I am not a doctor, but I know some that would back me up (plus I am only two years away, te he!)

I have to admit, I was dooped into the "political fears" myself. After all the time I spent researching both ends of this spectrum, I went into my daughters two month appointment, when I was convinced that she could die if she did not get two vaccines. Granted, if she ever did catch either, yes, she could die, but what the docs and Pharma don't tell ya is that those diseases are EXTREMELY RARE! And a lot of those diseases are in areas of uncleanliness.

There is an alternative. Instead of inundating these precious little bodies with things that are RIDICULOUS, lets go the more natural route, the route that the Good Lord blessed us with. Breast is best, right? Did you know that breast milk serves as a stronger antibody for the rest of your babies life than a vaccine!? There are VERY strong antibodies in a mothers breast milk that protect our beloved babies from many harmful things. That's easy.

Let me also tell you about a little miracle medicine I was introduced to about two years ago. I am not going to go into a long story, but I used to suffer EXCRUCIATING migraines after a car accident. Doctors could not find anything wrong with my neck, and resorted to narcotics that would take off the edge. Not exactly how I wanted to spend the rest of my life; on drugs, addictive drugs. Sooo... I found, Erin Elster, D.C., she is a cervical chiropractor, the only practicing one in Colorado. She was also my miracle. She found a vertebrae outa place in my neck and adjusted my body to it's natural alignment (the way God designed me) and I have been healed of frequent migraines. The one thing I did not know until recently about Erin's medicine is that she has healed all types of diseases by positioning the body back to its original form. Now, don't confuse Erin with any normal chiropractor. Her medicine is distinct in that it is only cervical. She has proven that many of childhood diseases, disorders and problems can be prevented by adjusting little bodies back to their proper alignment. Proper nutrition and this type of medicine can keep our little precious babies from experiencing severe brain damage or other things caused from RIDICULOUS and UNNECESSARY vaccines. Please check her out if you are in doubt. Erin Elster

You should know, I am NOT saying that if you get your child vaccinated he/she will end up with a problem somewhere down the road. However, I believe that there is some type of effect that these vaccines have on babies bodies that could potentially harm them. That reaction and the risk we take is just a game of Russian roulette. Some bodies are just simply weaker than others.

With the recent controversy of Autism and vaccines, many doctors and the CDC are warning parents that there could be an outbreak of any of the diseases. The truth is, you as a parent of an innocent fragile child have the right to make an informed decision. I have a lot of information and resources, I would love to share with you if you are considering vaccinations. PLEASE, PLEASE, be careful.

Hoping and Helping to Protect God's precious little angels, Autumn-Rose

Aniela Ysabel Titone
2 1/2 months old
Healthily thriving
without vaccinations
ALL SMILES!!!